Keep Your Paws and Feathers Out of Our Yard

See these long handsome white whiskers, very efficient pigeon radar when policing our front yard, one of the several jobs which keep me in cat kibbles. These efficient whisker tools are how I got my street moniker Mr. Whiskers. Better curl up in a comfortable chair like Brenda Biscuit does while you read my post because I always have a lot to talk about after my frequent patrols. Perhaps you've noticed me crouched in the regulation cat sentry alert posture on the grass by the wire fence keeping out unlicensed four paws. Believe me there's a lot to be learned from grass if you know how to question it. For instance: What acrid scent am I sniffing on your blades? Or, Is that pigeon poop you are trying to hide? If a patch of grass doesn't cooperate, I can chew it. That usually gets results.

Now, trees you have to scratch up a bit. Then they will drop the goods faster than a leaf can flutter down. If I were a birdie, I wouldn't trust a tree branch roost as far as the end of my beak not to inform on my comings and goings. However plants aren't my only sources for news. In my wander cat days, I picked up quite a bit of pigeon lingo. In fact, I've rather a good ear for pooch slang and human chatter. Probably because neighborhood gossip is such fun. Why would any creature want to fill their ears with TV box sounds when there's the noise of exciting happenings to tune in to when sitting outside in a front yard?

By the way, the harness and leash I wear outside is an official sentry outfit, symbolic of my responsibility to law and order within the confines of our Collective property. Yotur also wears one, but in a junior officer capacity.

So what's the scoop on Willis Avenue now that summer has chased out spring? Uli tells me that our vegetable crop is coming along nicely in the back yard: beans, squash (she nearly squashed a zucchini plant), tomatoes, peppers, eggplant. None of this very interesting to cats. Grapes, apples, persimmons, no thanks. I perk up when she reports a bumper harvest of catnip. Perhaps I can get a pass to visit the back garden to sample the catnip in the interest of quality control. One of our suggested money-raising projects is to create felted wool balls filled with catnip. Esmeralda has been playing around with several to find out how long a ball will last before it spills its catnip.

Crow scouts are spying on Willis backyards but they don't seem excited about pickings on a street without stone fruit trees, corn stalks, or spilled garbage. At least that's what they caw about. Pigeons, what's to say about pigeons but yum. Strutting mouthfuls, excluding feathers. They seem quite unconscious of their culinary appeal. On the other paw, they probably have been informed by parrot broadcast about our Collective's law forbidding hunting on Collective property. This law was passed despite several dissenting votes before I became a member. Wait a few weeks until those feathered gluttons discover a ripe grape crop on the front fence and let's see if that law doesn't get repealed!

Time to head out for an evening patrol so I'll end my post with a last tidbit: a new dog on the block. Max the Poodle, just my idea of the right size for a pooch, no bigger than myself. The right color - black - for appearing well groomed without making an effort. Like myself he has been hired into a home after several years of rough living outside. However, appearing not to resent past misfortunes, he is ready to discover folk to be friends rather than enemies. By the way it seems sensible that only small dogs are living on a small street like Willis. Less crowding, fewer canine disputes over territory, more chance for local government by cats. This is important if you don't belong to a more-or-less democratic animal collective.

Posted by Mr. Whiskers

I Tell Fortunes

Hi, I'm Esmeralda Gypsy Cat. In case you think otherwise, it's okay to have grown up in the streets, so be careful how you speak about my parents or you may get a paw slap, maybe with claws out.

Are you wondering how a wander-cat like me got to join this collective? It was after the Paw Mistress, Douglasina Prickle Puss, got promoted to Ancestor Spirit. Sweet, I say, but not when I know she's squatting up there on top of our kitchen cabinets, glaring at me with those hexing black-cat eyes. Hey, Miss D. that glare isn't so spell-binding now you are a ghostie.

Oh, back to my history. While Miss D. was still prowling around, the Collective let me bed down in its shed. Free board for keeping rats and mice out of their herb stores. They published an ad saying I was looking for a job as a house cat and could be easily trained up for typical inside duties. Not strictly true, but what cat won't fib to catch a meal? But I guess human employers were wise to my wiles. Moon after moon no offers.

Then this position of Paw Mistress for the Collective (Property Manager is my official title), became available and, of course, I leaped at the opportunity to move into posh digs even if I was going to share them with two arrogant dogs, two monster birds, and two toms (no need to give them an adjective).

Willis Avenue requires less property maintenance than Seventh Street since I am not supposed to patrol our living room or Human Hilary's quarters. Fine by me. More nap time. Just a hint: if you are going to check out what's happening in the kitchen, the best view is from the kitchen table. Scan from this spot when humans are elsewhere. My other watching posts are: Usually the sheepskin covered bench next to the kitchen window. Comfy and handy too for a inspection of our back garden. A second favorite is Brenda Biscuit's fake fur bedspread when I feel like tom company. By the way, my street friend Whiskers got a post with the Collective at the time we moved our headquarters to Willis Avenue. He's tough, out-spoken, and sometimes fun to chase a toy with. Malka still gets his whiskers in a snit if I lie less than a tail length from him. It is his misfortune that I appeared in his yard. Yotur's paw reading is to find a claw in his puss if he doesn't keep his nose out of my dish.

Got to go and see if Yotur has borrowed Uli's basket overnight without permission. More later.

Frost Moon Activity Report

This is our first Moon cycle Activity Report from Willis Avenue posted during the present Frost or Biter Moon, covering events happening during the previous Moon. But as the Collective is behind in reporting, I'm putting in everything important from the last time Lord Sun paused in his pacing before falling back to that dark den in which all dogs begin to feel life.

We have been very busy entertaining human visitors. Usually the cats provide amusements, but Birdo and Varna have developed a repertoire of clever but noisy bird tricks. I provide protection from neighborhood pigeons for our visitors' cars while performing my routine patrol duties. Yotur Cat points out, that although our efforts have made visits enjoyable for these humans, our collective's request for treat gratuities has been ignored. A large sign should be posted on our street door informing would-be visitors of Collective Policy #23: At least one treat per human (or other animal) for a bird or cat or dog is required as an entry fee to our Collective. There's been some discussion about this proposal. Presently, it's on the Collective Manager's agenda.

Whiskers and Yotur are continuing to patrol our front yard on leashes. As junior members of the Willis Avenue Protection Agency (formerly the Caballero P.A.) they aren't permitted to evict or pursue trespassers. This is my job, although if the mailman brought a dog treat I might make an exception for him. Yotur recently slipped off his leash to disappear, he says, in pursuit of a criminal possum. But as no witnesses have come forward to collaborate his version of the event, we think that being a nosey kit, he got a possum nip and fled to hide. Well, cowardice has had it's reward in a vet visit, pills, and extremely unpleasant wound treatment. Think again, Yotur, before investigating possums.

Rain has finally arrived to freshen the air and revive our parched noses. The back garden is being pruned of leftover growth. This gets dumped out on the street and eaten by a large truck. Since the days have been warmed by sun, many pruned plants have put out buds and baby leaves. As you might expect, plant plans for spring got frosted by this new Biter Moon which bit off growth. Chilly paws are no problem for me; being an American Eskimo dog I have snow booties. The apple trees also look pleased with the nippy weather. More apples for our famous Collective Applesauce. Dogs pick, cats wash, and birds crunch up the crop to make our special recipe. Write us if you'd like a copy. At the moment I'm keeping an eye on our brocholi and cauliflower bed. There's a rumor of rats. Birdo suggests I sharpen my teeth just as he sharpens his beak. He'll have more to say about good animal habits in his next broadcast. Listen up, Willis Avenue.

Report successfully submitted by Uli Var

Wake Up Willis Avenue, the ABCD Collective Has Arrived!

The ABCD Collective is at last ready to open its gate to the birds, cats and dogs of Willis Avenue. If you are flying over from City Hall as our falcon friends do, just wing past the little meadow with the silent metal animals, dart under the road bridge, up past the fire truck home, and turn left into Willis. There's a cherry tree waiting perch in our front yard and public bird bath. Give a squawk to let us know you've arrived. Cats, you can take neighborhood fence paths to reach our back door. Yotur will take down your name and issue you a garden pass. Dogs, you are expected to bark at our front gate. Uli Var will then come out to check your license. She will issue a reprimand and you won't be admitted if it isn't current.

Please note that Humans are also welcome provided they observe Bird Law and behave in accordance with traditional cat and dog etiquette. Treats are not obligatory for admittance to Collective grounds, but Humans are encouraged to make this donation.

Birdo gives his morning news broadcast a short while after our neighbor rooster perform his Sun Crow Up. If you want to submit a news item for broadcast, please turn it in to one of our Collective members before moon rise. If you'd like you can request it be added to our weekly blog post. Remember, Humans also read this blog, so don't submit anything you wouldn't want them to read about.

We are very excited about this new year. Lord Sun's birthday was celebrated with a delicious meal (yes, we know you Cats attend Moon rituals). The sun hours are growing longer and our garden's life is stirring beneath its damp coverlet of earth. It's time to chew off old growth, paw up soil to get it ready for Lady Moon to loose her hair in showers. We smell wonderful promises soon to bud. Fix your feathers, Birdo. Let's get ready for a soaring Spring.